Why You Would NOT Want To Live With Me

Hello! How are you? I am just living my lil messy life over here. Not messy like drama, messy like I’m super messy.  But that’s not what inspired this post…this post was inspired by a super random little thing I do that just occurred to me today as probably not very cool (it’s #2 on the list).

That’s when I was faced with a choice = I could  a.) change this habit OR b.) blog about it and keep doing it

I obviously decided to keep doing it because I’m very big on self acceptance. But maybe I should try and work on at least one or two of my bad habits in case I want to make friends one day. So here is the preliminary list – I’ll maybe choose one to work on next year. TBD.

Reasons You Would NOT Want to Live With Me:

1. I wake up super early and am a ‘morning person’. This means as soon as my eyes are open I’m up, making coffee, talking to Vegas and dancing around waiting for the sun to come up so I can run.

I try to be quiet as I get ready in the morning, but I’m bad at that.

For example: I woke up before 4am today and couldn’t go back to sleep?! So I just got up and sipped coffee while Vegas acted too cool to be my friend…

2. Sometimes I’m not sure what I want for a snack so I’ll take a few bites of a yogurt and put it back in the fridge. This means there are often multiple open/half eaten yogurts in there. (In my defense the top shelf of the fridge freezes them sometimes so I can’t finish the open ones until they thaw again.)

3. I have SO MANY running shoes and race medals and other random running or workout junk!

Note: I do put it all back in it’s place when I’m done with it, but there isn’t a lot of room so I feel like it’s EVERYWHERE. My running shoes dominate the shoe closet, my weights are pushed to the side but I don’t have a gym or anywhere appropriate to push them, my visors are hung up all over the water closet…

4. Sometimes you might come home and it will smell like magic because I baked something.

And you’ll get all excited because it smells like vanilla and cinnamon and butter had a baby.

But then I’ll have to tell you it’s actually some healthy buIIsh*t protein powder cupcakes or something.

Or even worse – There will be times I did bake something with real butter and sugar and it was so amazing I ate it all before you got home.

5. Okay, to give myself a tiny bit of credit – I do like to cook. So, I’ll cook for you.

Last night I made shrimp fried rice with the leftover Chinese food from the day before. It was so good!

But, this bad thing about me cooking is – I am actually the world’s MESSIEST COOK ever ever ever. Seriously.

I somehow managed to dirty 22 dishes and get rice all over the floor and counters and ceiling while cooking this meal.

Ben has said that I eat like the Cookie Monster. Hit the nail on the head.

6. I might come home with cuts on my face. And you’ll get worried and ask me what happened (because you’re my roommate in this story, remember)?!?

And I’ll be confused, which will make you think I am in some secret Fight Club and not inviting you. Then, we’ll discover it’s just food I rubbed on my face and have been walking around with all day. Classic Monican.

Yep. That happened today. It was from the raspberries I was eating in the car on the way home from Costco. Fantastic.

7. The volume is broken.

Yeah, the volume is broken – not on the remote, but on ME. I AM LOUD. I don’t know why exactly because it’s not just when I’m mad – I am loud all the time. My laugh is so loud it scared a lady at the super market one time.

Question: Are you a good roommate or not?

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